I haven't gotten her completely figured out yet.
She is very sweet and wants to please. Yet, over the last two days she has pushed the limits to see what she can do and where I will draw the line. Last night it came out of nowhere. We were looking for tennis shoes for her and when I reached down to hold her hand she jerked away from me quite mad. I was shocked. There had been no incident to set this off. At least none that Kim nor I could see.
When I asked her what was wrong she would not look at me and would not let me touch her.
I grabbed her arm not knowing what she would do and made her walk with me. She yelled at me in chinese and tried to get away. I could feel my face getting hot, my butt started tingling and my legs felt like jelly- you know like when something bad is happening and you don't know why or what exactly to do?
We walked on and found some shoes. The first place we stopped at I sat her down and we asked the people for some shoes for her. The all started laughing and wouldn't help us. They said they didn't have her size. I was so mad! I raised my voice and said, "Then where can I get her some shoes?!" The thought crossed my mind that they know she is an orphan and won't sell to us.
We finally found someone who would sell us some shoes. Kim went back to the store where the jerks were to look again. I sat her down on the bench and she started to cry. I got her a kleenex out and she took it from me. Isabella sat down beside her, put her arm around her neck and said several times, "You have to listen to mom." It was the sweetest thing to watch Isabella do that.
We got the shoes and left for the hotel down the street. She didn't want me touching her or holding her hand so I grabbed her wrist and held on. While in the elevator I held up the door key and asked who wanted it. She smiled and said she did. When we got into the room she went to her bed threw her stuff down and completely ignored me. Only when she wanted something did she acknowledge me.
Kim and Isabella fell asleep quickly and while I was working on the computer I noticed Sophie had crept to the end of her bed to watch me. She was trying to make up. I let her come sit by me at the computer and it was then that she hugged and kissed me. When I put her back in bed I asked her in chinese if she was sad and she said yes. I told her we were her new family now and that it would be ok. She nodded and smiled. With all that happened- it was the first night she's slept all the way through and not gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to play with the hairdryer or play the Leapster!
We had a similar instance happen again tonight. Earlier Kim had bought a new purse and let Sophie carry her old one while we were shopping. We stopped to eat at Dico's (a Chinese McDonald's) and she wanted to play on the playset after supper with Isabella. I told her she had to leave the purse at the table and she said no. I told her again and she got up (thinking she would set it down before she walked off) and left. I followed her and tried to stop her and she did the same thing as last night. Jerked away from me and walked off. I got her turned around and she walked over to the playset. I sat her little butt down (I was mad at this point!) and told her she WOULD listen to me! A chinese employee came over and asked me if he could help me. Are you kidding me?! I said NO I don't need your help! He proceeded to tell me that if I wanted to play I had to take my shoes off. Geesh!!!
I grabbed her by the arm and took her back to the table, sat her down and told her she will listen to me!
She eventually stuck her fingers in her ears and tried not to. We sat for awhile and Kim and I talked. I asked Sophie if she was done and ready to go. She said no.
Isabella came back quite confused by Sophie's behavior. She just doesn't understand why she doesn't do what she's told. A few more minutes pass by and I ask her again if she's done and ready to go and she nods yes. Turns around and gives me a big hug. Whew!
Last night at the mall her behavior really scared me and I thought to myself- "I can't do this. I don't WANT to do this." But after tonight and a couple of other small pushing the limits from her- I see that she is just a normal kid who is trying to find her place in her new family. She doesn't know me and I don't know her. This will take time and work. And I'm positive it will work out beautifully.
More tomorrow on her past and why her road ahead won't be easy.
|I don't even know what to say about this girl. |
She is the most fun, sweet, wonderful, hilarious, awesome little girl!!
More on her this week.
|Dancing at the park.|
When Kim saw this she was in awe!!
What a wonderful sight to see.
Why don't we Americans do this?
|A beautiful gazeebo.|
|This guy was getting his ears cleaned out. At the park!!!|
He kept yelling HELLO!
|I LOVE this girl!!|
|At the end of our tour through the park Isabella begged me to dance with her.|
So, I did and we ended up getting Kim and Sophie in on it, too.
It was actually really fun!!
|This was a sweet picture.|
Isabella was asking Sophie what the signs in Chinese said.
As Sophie told her Isabella would say the word. She so badly wants to speak Chinese!