Cracked Foundation

This post is from the blog The Voice of Adventure.  Her name is Angel and she has an amazing way with words when it comes to adoption and the adopted child.

If you are an adoptive parent, you will understand this.

If you are not an adoptive parent, please read this and get a small glimpse of our lives and what our adopted kiddos have gone through and will continue to go through.  And then go read Angel's blog. 

Adoption.

There are people who think that children who are adopted are weird. There is nothing weird about them. There is, very often, something broken... cracked.. at their very foundation.

Similar to a beautiful home that has a crack in the foundation.. these sweet ones have been hurt and wounded at their core. 

That's the reality. The thing about a cracked foundation is it must be repaired or the structure is unstable. It's likely to be a messy job during the process. It may look HORRIBLE for awhile. It may require intense work. It may require special tools and skills. 

Here's the amazing part though. If repaired correctly and with skill the foundation will be stronger after the repair than it ever was originally. 

That's the beauty of things... people that are broken and healed are stronger in the end. Our children come split wide open with trauma and grief. They have most often endured more than the average adult. 

They were not easily broken. They have endured an emotional earthquake. The very fact that they are ALIVE is a testament to their strength. 

So here they are... by no fault of their own... cracked wide open. We walk into brokenness and pain. We have to walk into that house with that gash in the floor knowing the mess that's going to occur. 

Even when we DO know it catches us off guard. We wonder what we've gotten ourselves into. We wonder if we will survive. We wonder if we can ever find the skills to help repair the foundation. 

And it's slow.. and it's hard.. and it's messy.. but we usually figure it out with some help. Our children heal. The cracks close. We find the tools or help or resources or knowledge and we DO THE WORK. AND IT'S WORTH IT! 

I'll tell you why it's worth it. A person who has been broken to bits and keeps fighting is the one we scream the loudest for isn't it? A person who loses everything and keeps going... THRIVES.. That person is different, unique, special.

That is who our children are inside. Just as sure as some children are born without limbs many of our children are established with deep wounds that they overcome. The overcoming and healing of these obstacles, wounds and grief makes them MORE. They become MORE. They have been rejected and learned to love again. They have been ridiculed and continued to try. They have been denied food, shelter, care and attention and survived it to find a home. They are not weird. They are MIRACLES.

They are being forced to learn lessons in forgiveness, kindness, survival, empathy, determination, courage and surrender that most adults don't learn... ever.

When we look at our adopted children we must see the cracks, attend to the damage and expect the healing. We will get there and our children will not be normal. Heavens no, when a child's foundation is broken and repaired with great skill it can be stronger than it ever was before.

Our children will never be normal. They will be phenomenal. 

Happy 23rd Birthday, Wesley!

I love you!!

Mom

Smile!

And have a great Tuesday!!

It's Official

I am now a Mother-in-Law.

I have added another to my brood.

The good thing is....she was a much less painful addition than my biological or adopted kiddos!!

The wedding was beautiful.  Kim was beautiful.

And Wesley was as handsome as ever.

(I love my baby boy.)

When he was little we read the book Love You Forever all the time and I would say to him often;

I'll love you forever 

I'll like you for always

As long as I'm living 

My baby you'll be.

I cried every single time I read that book.

This post has a lot of pictures so if you aren't family you might be bored!

The only reason I have photos from the church is because Trent grabbed the camera. 

Otherwise I would have NOTHIN'!!

And I have to say that he captured some awesome shots of the kids.

Hudson, Jace, Trey

Isabella & Jenessa

I saw Father Kevin coming and grabbed the camera--I couldn't get over the cowboy hat!!

Both girls were beautiful.  Isabella was the flower girl and of course she did her job like a pro!  She had the biggest smile on her face and walked down the isle so proud.  On her way, she smiled and waved at the audience.  She will one day be Miss America, I swear!!

Sophie was the perfect lady.  I just can't say how proud I am of her.  She never once gave me trouble and was confident and did not cling to me or others.  She had an absolute blast at the dance.  

She danced so hard and long she got blisters!!!

We got her a new dress, had it altered and she wore it all night long.  

She was beautiful and we had to keep our eye on her the whole night long as there were way too many college guys there!!  Trent has been telling her that as her daddy he is her protector.  

She smiles every time he tells her that.  

Of course, what would I do without my mom?

Jenessa & Hudson.  Not sure what the face is all about.

Trey was peeking during photos before the wedding.

I love these next two photos that Trent got.

Wesley and Hudson having a conversation about something!

I love my boys.

And this?!  How funny is this one?!!!

LOVE IT!!!

Trey, Jonah, Hudson
Such dapper dudes!!!

Wesley and Kim leaving the church.

These two love each other so much.

Stella & Isabella (cousins) watching Wesley and Kim drive away.

Grandpa loves his girls!!

He's cute even when you can't see his face!

This is Lisa.  My favorite sister-in-law in the whole world!!

Her son Caleb, the best man, and Wesley have been best friends since my wedding where they first met at 3 years old.  I truly am blessed to have her and Trent's parents as my family.

Waiting to take pictures.  Gotta do somethin'!

Hud.

This is my best friend Shari (left) and her sister Jennifer.  Shari has been my best friend since 7th grade.  It's such a funny story how it happened that we laugh about it often.  They were my second family growing up.  We were inseperable and would still be if we weren't on opposite sides of the state.  

Shari is the one who drove me to the hospital when I had Wesley.  She's always been there.

Barbara, my other mother!

And Larry, my other father!!
I don't have my picture with him because he was backed in corner and I couldn't get to him!!

Wesley and Caleb at my wedding.

They were one month away from turning 4 years old.

I had two ring bearers without a flower girl and they were the sweetest boys!!

Growing up, Caleb often spent Spring Break with us.  

It was never a dull moment with these two around!!

As the Best Man, Caleb gave a toast.  He did such a good job he even made Wesley cry.

I love these two.

This is Jalana.  Her friends call her J.

Wesley and Kim brought her home for the 4th of July  this year- as her family lives in Florida.  

You could say we adopted her into our family.   

It was here she learned of Turtle Man and has since perfected his call.  

She played basketball at K-State and will graduate in December.  Currently she is waiting on a call from her agent to see where she will play ball next.  She was so nice to my kids and we all love her. 

My boys

Sophie loves her Big GeGe with all her heart.  He is so kind and sweet to her.

These next two crack me up.

Trey and Stella, who are cousins, had something going on for part of the night.

Not sure what they were discussing, but it was darn cute!!

My sweet and beautiful cousin, Ryan!

My sweet boy.

The DANCE.

No words needed.  Pictures say it all.

I thought it quite funny that all the preadolescent boys sat front row.  In a group.

This is Domingo.  Also known as Dom.

He was a groomsman.

A very good friend of Wesley's.

He likes my jeans.

Long story.

I am now his Mom, too.

We talked about how Hudson looks more like him than me, even though he is American Indian and Mexican not Chinese.  We decided that since they look alike he might as well join the family, too.

 We love you, Dom!

And this, my friends, is where the evening ended on film.  I say that knowing I have digital.

There were so many friends and family there I still can't believe it.

I was touched that so many drove that far to attend.  

It was a wonderful day. 

Now.....I would like to have just one summer without a life changing event.

I'm exhausted!!