First and foremost.....it's my anniversary!!
19 short, long years.
We really had to pull our act together to make it this far.
Next year we are going to celebrate big.
We are going to take a VACATION!!!
Alone.
Who wants to come babysit 4 kids?
Also in the news......
today is Sophie's Gotcha Day!!
We looked at pictures this morning of that day one year ago.
So much has changed since then.
She tells me all the time she loves us and that we are her favorite.
From the moment Tang Ting saw me she was hugging and holding me.
This is the first picture Kim took that Sunday afternoon when we walked into her orphanage.
She had a smile on her face most of the time on that day.
She had such a sweet, innocent and loving personality. And even though the trip for the two of us went downhill from there--she hasn't changed a bit.
As we were getting ready to leave her orphanage she said something to the orphanage woman.
They translated to me that she said, "I am not going to cry."
This girl was ready to go!
I often wonder what was going through her mind on this day.
I know for me as I got into bed that night all I could do was cry. Actually, I cried for the rest of the week. I didn't know how I was going to go through with this adoption.
She acted like a 3 year old and did weird things. She couldn't do basic kindergarten math and could barely read chinese. The only things that kept me from not signing all those papers the next day was that I didn't want to hurt her feelings, and I wondered what people would think of me.
Whether that's right or wrong I don't know. And even though I "saved"her from what could've been a pretty crappy future, I know that God has her here in our family, as my daughter, for me to learn something. And as time goes on I am more and more thankful she is here!!
Yes, it has been a very hard year for us, and even though I knew it was going to be hard, it didn't make it any easier. I'm telling myself the only way to go from here is UP! I have every confidence that she and I will make leaps and bounds this year. She has enough language to start piecing things together such as school, discipline, behavior, social situations and family gatherings.
One thing I have noticed is that she has become more confident and acts her age more and more. I can't wait to see how she much she will grow and change in the next year!! I can't wait to see how much I grow and change this year!!
She needed you and you needed her. Sometimes we never understand the reason why. I am glad that you haven't given up. I can see the new confidence in her face!
ReplyDeleteHi, I came over from Brooke's blog, but I'm adding your's to mine ;) I admire your honesty and bravery in this post...it takes alot of courage to admit that your adoption is/was difficult. Thank you for that! If you visit my blog you will find I to am a "keep it real blogger". I think real is necessary and helps those who might also be struggling. I have two 5 yo sons from China...one with an attachment disorder (anxious attachment). I will pray for your family. They are beautiful! I understand your fears! Continue being strong and keeping the faith! I'm so excited for the progress you've seen and what's ahead for you...as always it's one step forward, two steps back!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all...Happy Anniversary!!! We are just a couple of months behind you :)
ReplyDeleteSecond, I can't believe how much Sophie has changed in this year! I know this year has been a struggle, but God has a plan. You chose the narrow road and that's not always easy.
Love you, my friend!!
(PS...Myra, from the comment above, is the mom who sent me the video of Wesleigh in the orphanage before we traveled. She held her while she was there getting her first son!! It's a small world!)